The Olympics are killing me ...

Oh. My. Dog.

The Olympics are killing me.  All this training.  The special diet.  The international travel.  Not sleeping my in my own bed. The excitement.  The exercise.

Ohhhhh, the exercise.

All hail the real athletes, puppers.

Think their paws are killing them too??

By George, I think I have found my event!!

Well.  It took me the duration of the London Games, but I think I have finally figured out the sport for moi.

Balance Beam.

Yep, I EXCEL at lounging on the beam and looking good.

I understand, however,  that alot of the points are in the dismount.

You should have seen me hop off that branch.

Bummer that NBC did not get it on camera.

Totally stuck my landing.

I am fairly sure that if it had been judges watching instead of picnik-ers, I'd have gotten a 10.

Where are the judges when you need them???

We interrupt the Olympics ...

We made brownies the other day because my Nonnie loves brownies and we thought we might get to see her soon. 

Mom was, once again, channeling her inner Martha Stewart so instead of making them like normal people do in a pan, she made them in mini muffin cups, put a pecan on top and started calling them "brownie bites" like that would make them taste better or something. 

I know how irritable my mom can get when her Martha Stewart attempts don't go well so I decided I needed to do some serious oven guarding.  Nothing was gonna go wrong with those brownies brownie bites on my watch, puppers. 

You would think that after all my hard work, I would have gotten at least one brownie brownie bite.  But, noooooooo, all I got was a lecture on how bad chocolate is for dogs.  Of course, I could hardly understand the lecture because mom had a brownie brownie bite in her mouth while she was talking to me. 

Isn't that always the way, puppers.  Isn't that always the way?

We're thinking of you today, Nonnie!!

One person's gold ....

My mom has been yelling at me enthusiastically encouraging me to GO FOR THE GOLD for weeks now. 

So what happens when I finally do it?

I get enthusiastically encouraged to PUT THAT SHOE DOWN GIVE ME THAT SHOE RIGHT NOW MISTER NOW MEANS NOW AND I MEAN RIGHT NOW THAT IS A GOOD SHOE DO NOT EAT THAT SHOE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES THAT IS NOT THE GOLD I WAS TALKING ABOUT.

I think you get the point.

Listen,  I spend alot of time hiding in the closet.  This is a space I know well.  I know it intimately.  I know every blouse, jacket and shoe in there, puppers.

So who can blame me?  I went for what I know.

Personally, I thought it was brilliant.

Mom did not see it that way.

Narrowly escaped disqualification on that one puppers!

Narrowly escaped disqualification ....

Chewing as Olympic Event ...

In case you weren't aware ... Marathon Chewing is, in fact, an Olympic sport. At least for dogs that blog anyhow.

Given my total lack of limited success in water sports, I thought this was one I might excel in. Four paws on the floor and a big stick.  Seems like a natural to me. 

This was my entry for the event.  I thought I was pretty smart going back to when I was a tad smaller to find my entry.  Makes the stick look bigger, and all.  You know, the whole "perspective" thing.

I think it works.  You?

Going for the gold, puppers.  Still going for the gold!

Hanging up my goggles ????

Anybody got Michael's number?

I need to give him a quick call.

First of all, I gotta apologize for my "quit dog paddling and start swimming" comment earlier this week.

Now that I have spent a week in training, I realize that I was just the tiniest bit naive about how much training it takes to do what he does.

My paws have turned prune-y.  My fine white coat is shot from the chlorine.  I'm kind of starting to turn green.  I have what appear to be permanent goggle dents on my face.

And I still haven't brought home the gold.

Surely Michael can share some tips with me?????  I'll do anything except change my diet and give up my all day nap time to not have to hang up my goggles!

Sorry about yesterday ......

Did you miss me yesterday?

Sorry, puppers.  But I have this insane fascination with diving and I spent all day yesterday trying to get it all worked out.

I'm no fool.  I have given up on the whole synchronization thing.  Who could match moi, you know? 

So I'm going solo.

Spent the ENTIRE day yesterday in my training pool.

Figured out a couple of things:

It makes no difference how much water is in your pool.  Unless, of course, it's empty.  That, my dogs, is a REALLY bad idea.  Fill 'er up, pups.  Fill 'er up.

Diving from higher up makes things way, WAY easier.  On level ground, it's a tad hard to escalate my fabulously formed hindside over the lip of the pool with any chance of scoring a 10. Gonna try diving from a chair next. 

It actually IS possible to keep your paws together and point. Did you notice how skinny those divers are???  We were watching them the first night and I said to myself "Dang, they must be HUNGRY!"  And that is when it all became so clear to me.   You see, puppers, if you put a treat in the bottom of the pool and make that your "gold" to go for, you will inherently dive in with your paws stretched out to grab the tasty delicacy immediately upon impact.  Especially if you are seriously hungry.  Only for the Olympics would I ever starve myself.  Thank Dog they only come around every now and then.  You know how I feel about my meals.

All for now, puppers .... gotta run ... more training and all ....