Friday, December 26, 2014

I was NICE!!!!!

Well, I knew that no matter what Santa thought, my friend Sarge would take care of me.  And he did.  Oh, how he did!!! 
I finally got do dive right in and there was so much goodness in that one box it was unbelievable.  Best of all I GOT BALLS.  I mentioned that I was a ball guy and I got not one but TWO new balls.  And treats, and poop bags, and a treat canister and MORE!!!!  Thank you Sarge!!!

Once Sarge's present was open my stomach got a little crampy and I started to wonder how the rest of the morning was going to go.  I did NOT see a stocking hanging by the chimney.  But then this happened:

My mom said Santa left my stocking on the table because it was TOO FULL to hang by the chimney.  More treats and another ball, puppers.
Wooo hoooo ..... I WAS GOOD.
Had me worried there for a minute, Santa.
Until next year,
Thankful Duncan

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

FFHT -- Things are NOT looking good for me.

So,  as is my holiday custom, last night I acted like I was sleeping in the bed with mom and dad but I was really listening in on their conversation.  Puppers, things are not looking good for me. 

Mom said "Gee, I hope Duncan has an awesome Christmas.  He has been such a sweet boy this year." 

My dad said "Which Duncan are you talking about?"  I thought that was RUDE, but sometimes he thinks he is being funny when me and mom think he is not so funny, so that is what I thought was going on. Mom too, because the next thing she said was "Our sweet Duncan.  I just can't wait to see what Santa brings him."  To that I thought "Woo hooo, me too!!!"

But then Dad says "I know you don't want him to be disappointed but I think you should know, I found something in the garage tonight that leads me to believe things are not looking good for Duncan ....."  And he held this up for mom to see:


Well, puppers.  This made me so sad that I rolled over and got up and left the bed without looking back.  What have I done????  Why me, Santa?  Why, me??? 

I was so sad I went and laid down by the fire place with a big sigh and resigned myself to a sad, sorry, lonely Christmas.

But then I heard something in the garage.  I ran in there and found something shocking ....  a Chubby Little Elf was hanging out in my garage.  I said to him "Get out, I hear you have nothing good for me this year.  I don't understand why not.  You have hurt my feelings and I must ask you to get out of my garage and be on your merry way.

And then the chubby elf says "Back off sad and angry white dog.  I am here because we figured out on our pre-delivery check out run that our navigation system was off by one digit and I think I dropped some coal off here by mistake." 

Happy Dance!!!  This is me doing the HAPPEEE DANCE!!!!

Woo hoo, puppers.  It looks like things might not be so bad after all!!!!

Except for the bulldog next door that sometimes likes to growl at me.  I regret to inform him that things are not looking so good for HIM this year. 


Monday, December 22, 2014

Do you see me, Santa????

YO, Santa!  Or, maybe I should say HO HO HO, Santa!  Do you see that picture of me up there????  That is moi, all dressed up and getting ready to deliver a box of biscuits to our local shelter so the pups there will have some awesome extra stuff in their stockings.  This would be a very NICE thing to of me to do, right?????   Aaaaaaannnnddddd, I let my mom put that fancy outfit on me and everything.  And I did not complain.  No, sir, Santa.  I did NOT complain about the clothes. Just saying.

Respectfully submitted,

Duncan B.

Friday, December 19, 2014

Holiday Card Blooper: My ear, My ear!!!

Only my mom could magically make my ear disappear without knowing a darn thing about photoshop.  She totally and completely lost my ear with the camera.  Good Lord.   Perhaps my resolution for 2015 should be to get a new blogtographer.  Ay yi yi.  Seriously.  My ear is gone.  GONE.

Did you say something?

Can't hear you .....


Thursday, December 18, 2014

Sarge delivers. Thank you!!!!

Woooo hoooo, puppers.  I got a present from Sarge in the mail.  Thank you, thank you!  Gosh I love this present exchange!!!!!

As you can see, I dove right in.  Literally.

And then do you know what happened?

All of a sudden, all I can hear is her screeching, yes SCREECHING, I do not exaggerate here, NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

And then, all of a sudden, whoosh, my pressie was gone.

Plopped right in the top of the present pile.  Unreachable until December 25th.

Dear Santa, I think this was very NAUGHTY of my mom.

Just saying ....

Friday, December 12, 2014

Fool Me Once ....

Dear Santa,

I am a ball guy.  I know you probably already knew that and all, but just in case my mom tries to sub out my letter to you with one that she actually wrote, I just wanted to say it again.  I am a ball guy. 

And, yes, my favorite ball is a green one.  But it is NOT this green one:

The other day mom and I were playing ball and all of a sudden she tried to pull a fast one on me.  She said it was to improve my health.  She was hoping I would bite into it and love it. But, pfffftttt, NO.  I did not like it.  It was tangy and crunchy, not slimey and perfectly seasoned with saliva and dirt from the floor. 
No disrespect to the healthy eaters of the world, but an APPLE is a fruit serving and NOT A BALL under any circumstances, by any stretch of the imagination.

So thank you Santa, for listening.  And for ignoring any letters you might receive from me requesting fruit in my stocking.  Because that would be a fraudulent conveyance of my wishes by my mom.  And that would be naughty on her part, so go ahead and put the fruit in HER stocking if you would.

Respectfully submitted,

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Why, it was lovely, thank you!

Mom's birthday was excellent.  I thoroughly enjoyed it and appreciate all that others did for me to honor her occasion.


Mr. David brought me a couple of pupcakes and Mom got a couple too. MORE PUPCAKES!!!!
Mom had it in her head that we were going to cut them into pieces and eat them slowly and daintily.  I  probably don't have to tell you that that didn't happen.  I didn't even stick around long enough to hear her reasoning on that one.  It mighta been her birthday, but it was my pupcake we were talking about.  I make my own rules.  But you already knew that ....
I also appreciate the fact that some of you were considering moi when you wrapped her presents. I have never met a gift bag I didn't love, and yours were no exception.  Thanks, also, for not sending something breakable.  Two words for that ... buzz kill.
Happy Birthday Mom.  Thanks for letting me make it all about me!

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Happy Birthday Mom!!!!

Here is a little blast from the past to celebrate my mom’s birthday today.

This is mom and her first dog, Misty.

They were both little cuties, yes?

Happy Birthday, Mom!

I dare say, I love you more than treats.

And that is really saying something!!!


Thursday, December 4, 2014

Best party ever, and I wasn't even there!!!

Whoa, puppers.  I just had the best time at a party and I WASN'T EVEN THERE!!!!

Allow me to explain:

Furst, my mom saw this bag on her desk at the office.
  Mr. David had dropped off a treat JUST FOR MOI!!!!!
It's Bella's Barkday!!!!

Next, after having it on her desk for like maybe 87 hours or so before bringing it home to me,
Mom showed me my package.  Notice that she did not immediately hand it over. 
That is dog abuse, but it would have been bad form to mention that right at that moment.
What could Bella be sending ME on HER barkday???????
Oh, my DAWG.  Did you read that?!?!?!?!?!

Bella sent me a cupcake.  A.  CUP.  CAKE.
My very own first cupcake EVER.
I got a REAL cupcake on HER barkday.
WOWZA.  I felt kind of faint with specialness.
Not so faint that I couldn't dive right in, but faint like in a "my heart is real happy right now" kinda way.

And let me just tell you something, puppers.
Hints of vanilla and orange zest with just the tiniest linger of chicken.

Thank you Bella, from the bottom of my very, very happy tummy and my very big "I only have eyes for you now" heart!